Sunshine between the storms

Yesterday was a surprisingly refreshing day. I say surprisingly because Sunday night I felt doomed....for another storm. The kids & I arrived home from a week in Kingwood to a lovely, clean nest & an excited husband & daddy that made a quick trip to the store since all I wanted to eat was a cheeseburger. We ate dinner, snuggled the kiddos & got them down for the night. We sat down on the couch to breathe a sigh of relief (as we do everynight) & no more than five seconds later we heard one of the boys screaming. There are some screams that you wait a minute then saunter down the hallway but this one sent Robby full speed ahead to assess the situation. I heard him yell my name & took off as well. Poor Owen....our "weakest link" as we call him when it comes to one who contracts illness easily...was covered in vomit along with his bed & the carpet!

It is SO awful to see your children feel so crummy & I was tearful as I got him in the bath tub, cleaned him up & put on new jammies while Robby did the dirty work. Owen was snuggly as could be while we watched Rob's genius mind at work. He had the big blue tarp back in the room under the crib but since our timing is just fabulous, we had converted the cribs to toddler beds not even two weeks ago meaning there was great potential for a child to run through the room while suffering from the aforementioned ailment. Rob's best idea was the turn the crib around so the opening faced the wall! It scooted up nice & tight so no limbs could become wedged between the wall & the bed. We got Owen settled while Anson was completely passed out through bright light, screaming & the smell. We sat back down on the couch, began praying for our little Nest to be protected & before we knew it were back in the room.....4 more times over the next few hours. Poor pitiful baby & I was acting like a poor pitiful mama.  Robby asked if we wanted to watch a show & I told him I didn't even think I could smile. I assured him that I would not survive another outbreak in our home. All I could picture was the two miserable weeks of sickness that ended only FOUR weeks ago. My husband offered the wise words that assured me I would survive. I wasn't so sure. We could hardly sleep even once Owen was resting comfortably & we jumped at every potential sound that may indicate another child needs assistance. I honestly felt doomed & woke up in a grumpy mood. 

Thankfully, Owen was as chipper as he could be & ready to take on the world. I wish I felt like that after my current morning routine! Robby left for work & I began the balancing act of quarantine & three other children that need me every second. By lunchtime, the girls were saying that they "hated today" & in some ways, I agreed. The three of us were suffering from some ugly attitudes & sat down at the kitchen table to read our bible & start our schoolwork. There were many complaints voiced (mine in my head). I felt like my frustration was through the roof & I would have rather locked myself in my room for a bit but saw another opportunity to rely on the Lord to help me fight against my selfishness. He helped me & I just started praying aloud for us prior to reading. 

The girls if given the choice, would read the story about David & Goliath every day. We looked up the passage in my bible first & I read to them bits & pieces to help them understand how their Jesus Storybook Bible shares the same story in a different way that many times is helpful not only to them but us parents too : ) We read in 1 Samuel 16 about how "the Lord was with David " & within their bible that God was the one who made David strong & fought for him. We talked about how from the outside David did not seem like a very good candidate to fight Goliath due to his small stature & plan to use some stones instead of armor provided for him BUT that God knew his heart, that he loved Him more than anything else & chose to use David to reveal his power that day.  We prayed to have hearts that loved God like David. This sounds long & drawn out but on a typical day lasts about five minutes due to attention span deficits. I do trust that the Lord can use any second of our time we spend with our children to build a foundation of who God is & how He works so we just roll with it. 

After naps, I could hardly bear to keep them separated & had the passing thought of sharing a single spoon to eat a bowl of oatmeal with the hope of everyone going down together. The consequence made me shudder but I thought it would be better to be on a sinking ship for four days than two weeks. Instead of proceeding with option #1, we decided to put on our rain boots & head to the mud pit out back. I am SO glad we did because that is where the refreshment continued....

Today was literally the "sunshine between the storms" as tons of rain came down while we were away & the forecast is not looking too dry for the rest of the week so sickness or not, we were spending time outside!  I think these four have a few extra silly bones in their bodies.... 

There are moments during the day when I cannot stop smiling & tears often roll down my cheeks as I look at these four. I love them, I love them, I LOVE them but there are many moments when I feel like I am in a storm filled with four tornadoes swirling at my feet...five if you include Bella.  They need me, constantly & I need God to help me to joyfully care for these needs. I fall into not asking for His help or not believing that what He has to offer is more valuable than what I can come up with on my own.

We spend countless hours together (Robby included) & all know the best & worst of each other.  It is pretty apparent that we are desperate for hearts that love God. As we go about our day & I encounter my children struggling to share, speaking unkindly to each other & preferring themselves over anyone & everyone & I am easily irritated thinking "how many times do we have to talk about this?" When I take a step back, I see myself struggling with all the same things but looking a bit different because of the process I am in as Jesus strips me of myself & makes me more like Him. Rather than being irritated with the inevitable, I should spend time praying for God to give them a new heart that is sensitive to the Holy Spirit & helping them understand that Jesus is the only one who can intervene & have any eternal effect.

Amidst storms outside or storms in my heart, there are moments of sunshine. Yesterdays' tangible sunshine was made up of mud & roly poly's or doodlebugs as the Ellis family calls them : ) If these multi-legged creatures could move more quickly they would crawl up the fence & escape from our yard the second someone comes tearing across the backyard but instead, these four came up with quite the collection!

Eloise loves these & quickly had about six in her hands. A couple weeks ago the girls spent the night with the Valentines to help Papa plant his garden. In the process Eloise collected at least 30 roly poly's & Grammy was kind enough to let the collection pass through the back door. I received a text that evening saying I should have seen Charlotte & Eloise frantically capturing the roly polys when they were spilled on the kitchen floor! Ha! I would have loved that!

Gosh I love these dirty little boy hands. These belong to Anson.

Two, two year olds with a sum of four busy hands has been really fun & challenging at the same time. These dirty hands are into everything often at the same time on opposite sides of the room....it is so ridiculous it makes me laugh (sometimes). Much of the day in & day out time with the bunch is made up of helping them obey. I find myself repeating the same phrases over & over again.

Just to name a few:

• It's good to do hard things. Romans 5:3-5
• Be grateful for what you have. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
• Consider others greater than yourself. Philippians 2:3
• Obedience brings joy & reward. multiple examples... those who honored God
• Disobedience brings pain & hurt. multiple examples...we think of Jonah
• Do all things without grumbling- Philippians 2:14
• Why did God make you? To glorify & enjoy him, let's ask God to help us do that. Philippians 1:20-21
• What are the fruit of the spirit? Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness & Self Control. Let's think about the way we are acting (or speaking) & see if we are bearing good fruit. Galatians 5:22-23
• Practice Patience (just a part of that "good fruit") 
• Those listed above are scripture based but to quote the mother of Pinkalicious who holds much less authority than the word of God BUT still remains quotable...."You get what you get & you don't get upset!" - Pinkalicious

These roll off my tongue often with no effort but when I sit back & look at myself (again) I think.. "Do I do all things without grumbling? Do I like to do hard things? Nope, I surely don't. Do I enjoy God at all times? Am I grateful for what I have when I look at my messy house & realize I am still in my jammies right before Robby walks in the door from work? Do I bear fruit that reflects Christ? Do I get what I get & not get upset? Ha, I wish."

I am the one that knows Jesus & it is a daily battle for me to walk in a way pleasing to Christ....why on earth would I expect to not revisit these things on a moment by moment basis with four little ones who have not come to trust Jesus thus far in life?  What a gift it is to have them under my care even though it is one of those responsibilities that fall into the "it's good to do hard things" category.  You know what else falls into that category? This ol' pup who always seems to need me at inopportune times. I'm thankful this death defying leap (for an old girl) didn't send us in for a knee replacement. I do love her though & the kids will miss her terribly when she goes. 

It was refreshing to be outside observing some happy, playful kids that were actually enjoying their time together. It sure is a shame that no one can work this tricycle until they look like a clown with really long legs trying to ride.  I guess it is good exercise for whoever is pulling one or two kids around the yard ; )

These two hilarious boys are rarely still long enough to take a picture of them together...big win!

and just to prove they aren't always grinning ear to ear...

Charlotte & Eloise have a really sweet relationship that is filled to the brim with giggles but like any pair of siblings is learning daily about how to lovingly relate to another human being. Aren't we all? They are incredible big sisters & help the boys reconcile with one another in parrot fashion. For example. "Anson, say I am sorry for pushing you Owen, I should have been gentle. Will you please forgive me?" "Owen, say I forgive you." They are compliant & end with a "nuggle" followed by a crash to the floor. I have also observed, in a sneaky eavesdropping fashion the girls reconciling with each other prior to bringing concerns to me. This is not always the case but amidst the "storm" of disobedience, it feels like some major sunshine. Oh & sweet Lolo dressed herself & had her shirt on backward all day long. Least of my concerns these days ; )

In conclusion, storms for us right now are within the seemingly "black cloud" of stomach bugs & other illnesses, missing our Orlando "family," failing as I figure out schooling at home & questioning God's faithfulness as we continue to settle into life in the Lone Star State. Something I have been far removed from since leaving Dallas seven years ago is entering into the "storms" of others that are in an unplanned pregnancy feeling like abortion is the only answer or those struggling through life outside of Christ, happen to be pregnant & walk into our clinic. As soon as I resigned from my Labor & Delivery job, I jumped back on board volunteering at Thrive Women's Clinic serving in the RN capacity. I am doing pregnancy tests for Medicaid, limited ultrasound & counseling during a few hours one evening a week. This ministry is a valuable part of the community where the Lord is active & changing the hearts of women who cross paths with us at a vulnerable yet critical time. Those are painful storms for these women & are on my mind & in my prayers daily.

On the other side of the rainbow is the sunshine which sometimes appears when we least expect it. Some of this sunshine is when we see evidence of God's grace in our lives as we parent these children bearing the fruit of the spirit, we have a day of super fun learning that integrates life with typical "schoolwork" with no grumbling, we survive yet another illness & are healthy again & when we spend time with those we love dearly in Texas & are reminded of the Lords' provision. Many times the sunshine is in the storm & not just between. Our joy is not dependent upon our circumstance & we can rest in the Lord even when it feels dark & gray.

Though yesterday it was mostly sun & for that we were thankful...

Adios first trimester!

I can hardly believe week 13 is upon us with baby #5. I am thankful & looking forward to feeling a bit less nauseated & a little more energetic! Overall these dreaded symptoms have been no where as disruptive as they were with the twins....another thing to be grateful for. Sorry to jump right into the icky part of pregnancy but it must be documented ; )

The daily running to a place appropriate to vomit has provided some hilariousness with the boys. They can be screaming bloody murder for oatmeal first thing in the morning & as soon as I assume position they are completely silent for a moment then turn into precious little records on repeat saying "Mommy sick, Mommy throw up, I sorry Mommy, Mommy sick, Mommy throw up, I sorry Mommy." The best part is that it is not in unison so I hear a constant talking while someone (Owen) is often hitting the back of my legs with a sword. Charlotte is usually pointing out the fact to Eloise that I am not feeling well because of the little baby girl (she's convinced) while asking me loudly how to spell words to write a card to me that says "I am sorry you are throwing up Mommy. Love- Charlotte." She has probably killed a whole tree with the amount of notes she has written in the last six weeks. Overall, it is tolerable with the help of a little medication & plenty of crackers.

Tiredness is just a common feeling in life right now so a little extra requires going to sleep early & napping about once a week. It is funny though because with more little ones around that need my undivided care & attention, it is nearly impossible to feel sorry for myself & be as lazy as possible. I consider this a gift.

We enjoyed a peek of this sweet baby #5 last Friday afternoon....

We were overjoyed to see plenty of wiggles, a three vessel cord (following Owen having only two), a four chamber heart & size right on target for my weeks' gestation. We met with a perinatologist & discussed a plan of care for me & the babe regarding my seizure disorder.  All looks well on that front following a single increase of medication dosage about 4 weeks ago. Since Owen had restricted growth they want to verify baby is growing well every 4 weeks starting week 18.  More than likely it was due to unequal placental sharing but he said they never want to make assumptions. So, back at 18 weeks we will go!

I love seeing ultrasounds whether my babies or others. Those wiggles & hands up to the face get me every time. I could just break down in tears. my eyes locked on the screen like I can't get enough while being reminded of the incredible act of God to form & sustain new life in the womb.

I stared at the picture thinking in song....as usual. The words from JJ Heller's "I get to be the one" came to mind. The bridge says "How can something so small, hold my heart so tightly. I don't even know you, but I love you completely." After seeing four babies time & time again via ultrasound followed by welcoming them into our arms & growing to love them just the way they are, we could not be more delighted to be experiencing this again.

We aren't the only ones excited about this growing baby. Owen & Anson quickly identify where the baby bump is while Charlotte & Eloise talk about "her" all day long every day. They will be SO surprised if we find out we are in fact having a baby boy! Charlotte requested to keep a magazine called "How your baby grows" which we received from our first doctor visit. It has "in the womb" monthly photos that are actual & not cartoon. I have found her at night lying on her belly looking at the pictures after Eloise has fallen asleep....so sweet. She is completely intrigued just like her nurse mommy : )

I haven't had any pictures of me taken alone which is quite different from previous pregnancies for obvious reasons.  I do find it fun that the most recent picture on my camera is from a special visit with friends over the weekend. Laura, Natalie, Lisa, Kristen & I have known each other for over 21 years. Kristen & Natalie drove up from Round Rock to spend the day & night with the rest of us to celebrate the upcoming arrival of Lisa's baby. What a FUN reason to celebrate. The last time we were all together was March 2014 when Lisa & Euan said "I do!" Not long after that, they found out their family would be growing. We could not be more excited for our sweet friend & loved showering her with gifts. We laughed for pretty much 24 hours straight as we lounged around the house, walked around the neighborhood & went out to dinner kid free. Between the five of us there are 12 kids counting those in the womb. Our incredible husbands were so kind to take on the full time care of our little ones to allow us to have time away. Again, it was wonderful!

Lisa & I have been friends since we turned 8 years old, grew up next door to each other & then left Kingwood for college. We have spent 14 years in different cities (and states) & are now 10 minutes down the road from each other! Even more exciting than that, we both have baby bumps....some more noticeable than others ; )  Lisa is due in 3 weeks with a baby boy that we can't wait to meet.

Speaking of my baby bump, it definitely sticks out. I can't determine if it can be attributed to one specific thing but this is my guess of contributing factors:

• 5th baby in 6 years
• my body clearly remembers how to over stretch after carrying twins...like starting at 7 weeks
• I haven't been pooch free for a long time nor have I tried to get rid of it
• we said "Paleo Schmaleo" at the sight of two lines on a pregnancy test after eating VERY well. We loved how we felt but I think I might shave starved if we persevered.
• I have consumed more sugar & carbohydrates than could be good for any person, included but not limited to- grilled cheese from sonic (at least 10), McDonalds french fries & M&M McFlurrys, Tootsie Roll pops galore (5 in a row) while watching an hour show one evening & massive bowls of oatmeal sweetened with brown sugar & a stick of butter ; ) 

For the fist time ever I lost 4 pounds between week 8 & 12 appointments. Usually our conversations are more like "you probably shouldn't gain 6 pounds in two weeks but you did start out on the slim side." Anyway, we think it's because I exert so much energy chasing 4 kids around all day long. I really do love eating while pregnant & breastfeeding but hope that I can curb my appetite to desire more healthy things as the weeks continue. 

Even with the common discomforts of early pregnancy that were intensified by a stomach bug somewhere around week 8, I am loving it. Next up, feeling those flutters & finding out what our tiebreaker baby will be!

Birthdays for all the guys at the Nest

I figured that since it is now April, I should write about all the Valentine boys' birthdays that occurred in March. We are officially way behind on life & I blame it completely on the stomach bug that reigned from the last day of February to a couple days past the middle of the month + the fact that growing a baby makes me super sleepy.  We had planned a train themed birthday bash for March 7th but had to postpone till the next weekend & by that time we just canceled it. The invite was adorable & we were often saying the phrase "Choo Choo, I'm Two!" The cancellation email I sent out said "Choo Choo, I'm blue!" & boy were we. We were encouraged to cancel realizing that the boys have no clue what a birthday party is. 

Let's start with those twin boys that have filled our nest with sweetness & lots of shenanigans for the past two years....especially in the last few months as they have become a bit more mischievous. They celebrated turning two on various occasions throughout the month starting with March 8th. Owen had taken a 36 hour hiatus from vomiting leading up to the birth-day but started again that morning. Robby had gone to the store & I was sobbing as I called my parents to say we were back in the throws of sickness. We felt awful for him & were sad he would feel crummy on his special day. My mom hopped in the car & headed to Dallas within a couple hours & despite the illness was SO happy to see those little guys on March 8th. 

Around lunch time, Papa & Grammy joined us for lunch. Robby grilled some delicious burgers which we enjoyed with plenty of sides. Owen got to eat a cracker & drink a swig of white grape juice. He was definitely in no shape to enjoy a cupcake & honestly we were a little nervous to give Anson one in case he would be the next one down for the count. Poor guy ended up never getting sick & didn't get to blow out a candle until his Daddy's birthday two weeks later. It was kind of humorous. 

We still proceeded with the gift opening & Eloise was the most proud of her creation.....

Even though the boys are sufficient gift un-wrappers the girls could not help themselves & assisted anyway. I don't usually think these two look alike but this picture surprised me. You can see how skinny Owen's legs had become. He lost about two pounds over all. 

They worked together on a couple gifts & were excited to receive an array of books, a mini backpack & lunch bag, elephant for Anson, monkey for Owen, some new clothes & a Curious George memory game which Charlotte promptly beat each person she played.

I think the most useful thing they received was an additional set of Legos & two 15x15 boards to build on. This is the one thing that keeps them busy for more than 10 minutes. I would spend a thousand dollars on sets of these to increase that time ; )

They got some reading done with Grammy. I love their rooster hair.

We relaxed as much as we could & then got the boys down for a little birthday snooze. You may notice the graham cracker in Owen's hand. That was a bad idea & was expelled hours later in projectile fashion about three inches behind my mom a mere second after she scooted up to the table. That's how the day ended.

In the meantime we began to recover but were not completely well till March 17th which was Bella Bella Blue Dog's 10th birthday.  My Auntie Deb & Emma brought us some delicious BBQ with all the fixins & we decided to hook Bella up with something she would like better than a cupcake. We sang to her but I don't think she noticed because her eyes were set on this....

Fast forward to March 22nd, one day before Robby's special day. Bob & Jeannine invited us down to their home to celebrate. We were all surprised to see the kitchen decked out with Thomas the Train. We guessed it was for the little guys & not the big one ; ) They were so kind to consider that Owen & Anson did not have a real birthday celebration & made it fun for all of us. Owen's favorite were the balloons.

In fact I think all were enamored with them...

Anson decided that since he was two he had to be super cool...

We headed down there for lunch, naps (me included) then feasted upon fillets, baked potatoes & veggies. After lunch, it was time for gift opening. We had taken a family outing to Frye's Electronics the day before so Charlotte could purchase the gift she was convinced her Daddy needed. She wanted to get him a new wireless headset to use at home with his work calls. He actually does need this but it will not be cheap & he would like to pick them out. I instead steered her toward some ear buds that he could hook up to his phone. Eloise thought pink would be the best color but they settled on blue. Charlotte was SO excited for him to open the package that she wrapped so meticulously. It was well received & you can tell she was satisfied. When he opened them later that night we were laughing at the beautiful baby blue color.

One random gift we got for him was a wooden rolling pin without handles. We have been making our own tortillas lately & ours drives him crazy. I ordered it on Amazon & never thought to look at the size. I laughed out loud when I opened the box to find one that was at least 15 inches in length & then he got a kick out of it when he opened it. Definitely overkill but maybe it will save us time if he can roll three at a time ; )

Jeannine made the family favorite chocolatey cake with almond icing for these three...

The girls were in charge of candles.

Apparently all enjoyed the singing minus the thumb sucker & when we stopped Owen requested "more!"

We can eat that entire cake in one sitting but we had some restraint & enjoyed a slice (or two). The most hilarious part was when Anson who had already finished his serving asked Grammy for a bite of hers. She leaned down to offer him a bite off of her fork but instead he grabbed a full slice off her plate in two bear like swipes & woofed them. We were all cracking up. That is precisely why he has maintained his 2 pound lead in the weight class.  We spent some time outside looking for Mindy the stray cat & getting Papa's garden ready for planting. I don't think he actually desired that but the tools were in view & the kids couldn't help themselves.

There were no more photos taken of the birthday celebrations but they continued. On Robby's birthday we waited until he walked out the door then the girls & I were full speed ahead emptying three large bookcases containing all of his books. They were put up on the shelves in no particular order about an hour before Charlotte's birthday party last JULY & never touched again. It has driven him absolutely crazy searching for books or merely glancing at the mess. I told the girls that we would be learning about being a librarian & boy did we. I had never sung the ABC's so many times in my life to figure out what came next. It wasn't all just by last name, he has sections just like a real library with non fiction, fiction, biographies, theology, travel & languages. I actually loved it & was so happy we spent a good portion of the day when we witnessed his reaction upon his arrival home. He said it was the best gift ever & gave us some huge hugs. Within 30 minutes our babysitter had a arrived & I whisked him off to dinner at Sushi Sake....the only place we go when we have a night out. We are always soooo relaxed & are never disappointed by our selections. The only thing I was slightly disappointed about was not drinking hot sake & not eating raw fish. Overall, my meal was still delicious & the company was even better. We love eating early then coming home right after the kids are in bed to collapse on the couch & catch up on a TV show. It was a decent birthday minus finding out we owed on our taxes & Robby's receiving a jury duty notice. He has had a trend of not so fun things happening on his birthday but I think organized books & sushi made up for this years.

What a wild month March was! I was thinking about it & can't decide what was more challenging...March 2015 or March 2013 with two boys in the NICU. Both years were intense & we survived thanks to be to God! Just a reminder of how Robby spent his birthday just a mere two years ago....

I love those three more than they will ever know & celebrating them on their birthday just falls into how we love them all year long.