Celebrating Elo- Home style

This is one of those really honest posts about life right now. I debated on how much to include since it is one of Eloise's birthday posts but you know what, she just might be a mama to a wild bunch someday & find some comfort in reading about her second birthday with a crazy/outta control mother.

Here it goes: 

We made it home from Disney World to be welcomed by the Ziel family with two happy babies. They left. O & A were not happy camper's & proceeded to scream for the next 3 hours. I bathed the sticky girls that were already a little feisty due to over exerting themselves ALL day & started Cinderella or as the girls affectionately call "Cinder-Bella." I had prepped a little the night before with wrapping gifts & blowing up balloons but wanted to do a little decorating. 

Robby got busy in the kitchen cooking breakfast for dinner in honor of Elo-Pancakes. Jenny & the kids were due to come over within the hour so I got busy hanging streamers & balloons. I had a pounding headache probably from spending the day at Disney following a night with little sleep.  I was hanging streamers & Eloise was pulling them down. She was grabbing the balloons and tearing off into the other room thinking she was pretty funny.  I was irritable. I put her in the playroom and closed the gate. She screamed for a bit. I started feeling really frustrated with myself for multiple reasons which I will mention in a bit.  Robby was amazing & got dinner all ready in record time & I eventually got the decorations up, table set & gifts out. 

I fed the screaming babies then put them back in their swings to scream some more. I'm sure they didn't scream non stop but it sure felt like it. We sat down to enjoy our yummy meal which included: pancakes (mickey shaped for the kids), sausage balls & steak & eggs. Really healthy....really yummy ; ) I did feel a tad better after eating...I think we all did.

the celebrating crew minus me & Uncle Steve who was out of town : (

Eloise & her favorite aunt

my wild child....I love her! Ok...just noticing that you can see the waistband of my shorts which I cannot currently button & left flipped over with a baggier shirt...Boom! Roasted! Haha!

Aunt Jenny cleaned the kitchen. That was a little gift to me ; ) We moved into the living room to see what was inside the packages. You can see Charlotte giving Eloise some strict instruction...

Isaac, poor Isaac. He sure needs O & A to get growing fast so he is not so outnumbered by dramatic girls! He rode around on the ladybug while Eloise opened gifts.

As you can see, Eloise had a couple helpers which was sometimes okay with her & sometimes not. At one point she asked Karis to help her but not Charlotte....how do you think that went over?

Owen was in the swing while Anson was scream free for a bit snuggling with Daddy.

The funniest part of the gift opening was when Eloise opened the package from us.  We bought her a Giraffe backpack & lunchbox that are the same brand as Charlotte's Owl backpack & lunchbox that she received for her 2nd birthday. Charlotte of course would not back off & "helped" open her gift. She pulled out the backpack & yelled "Look! I got a new backpack!" We quickly reminded her that it was actually for Eloise since it was HER birthday. Charlotte responded with "no, see, the big one (backpack) is for me & the little one (lunchbox) is for Eloise." Haha! We couldn't help but snicker a little. Eloise was so excited to have her own backpack & wore it around for a bit even while she was lying down checking out her new Farm Lego set.

We decided to stick with the Mickey & Minnie theme for the decor & cupcakes...

Eloise loves the birthday song & helped us sing it. She took two blows to blow her candles out.

This might be my favorite picture of the whole day because this little Eloise face is seen SO often...mischievous little grin with her eyes cut to the side...oh my! 

Back to the crazy/outta control mommy part of the story.  Jenny & the kids headed home right after cupcakes. Within a few minutes, I had hit my limit of the amount of shenanigans & screaming I could tolerate.  We worked as fast as possible to get everyone ready for & in bed. I had dreamed about a sweet time next to Eloise's bed telling her how much we loved her & were thankful that she was ours. I thought we would snuggle extra long & sing her however many songs she wanted. Instead, she was completely out of control or as we say "wired equals tired." Wired is an understatement. I don't remember how long it took the girls to go to sleep probably because I told Rob I was done dealing with everyone & was going to take a shower. Along with a shower, I took a couple Advil to help offset my wicked headache. I got in bed by 8:15 & planned to sleep until the boys woke up to eat again.

Rob was cooking soup & planned to be up for a bit. I heard Owen crying so I popped his paci back in & went back to my room. 30 minutes later he was screaming again & I hadn't fallen asleep for a second. I burst out of our room & into the kitchen yelling about how I just want to sleep for thirty minutes (as if that would fix anything). He looked at me with really wide eyes & said "whoa whoa whoa, what are you doing?" I yelled about how something must be wrong with that baby since he just ate 2 hours ago...all you mama's out there, you remember that feeling right? I think he tried to stop me to calm me down but I high tailed it into the boys room to feed Owen. The second I held that precious baby in my arms I was calm & realized how out of control I was feeling. I sat & fed him while I recounted the day. I didn't feel a whole lot better when I walked back to our room but stopped in the kitchen to tell Robby that I could care less if we ever went to Disney again. He found my rant hilarious & videotaped my statement.  Looking back, Disney really had little to do with my emotional breakdown....I just needed somewhere to place the blame. It happened to be the energy sucker which left us depleted (& me irritable) for the rest of the celebrating.

I went to bed, slept till close to one & felt so much better at that point in the night. The next morning Robby & I talked over some coffee. I apologized for my craziness & said I had not acted like that since the boys were born & he said that I had not acted like that our entire marriage! Hahaha! I am stretched pretty thin right now I guess & I snapped.

After much processing I have come to the conclusion that what frustrated me the most is that I didn't get to enjoy just Eloise on her birthday. I jam-packed the day with so many plans that I ended up correcting her for her childishness when she was beyond tired. I was so upset with myself & felt like I ruined her special day. Robby assured me that she had a great day & it was not ruined. He also said that even if I did ruin it she wouldn't remember ;) The next day was a fresh start. We did lots of snuggling which is Eloise's favorite thing right now. We read books, played with blocks, took a good nap & did lots of giggling. Whatever was lacking on her birthday, we made up for it the following day.

I have heard the "supermom" comment about myself lately & want others to know that the perceived definition of a supermom is a lie.  My initial thought as to what defines a supermom includes but is not limited to: a mom that has it all together, that never gets frustrated with her children, that cooks nutritious meals, maintains a clean & organized house, never feels overwhelmed & handles the most stressful of circumstances with ease. Sure I can do some of these things on some days but that doesn't define me as a supermom or a not so supermom. To be honest, there are more parts than not everyday where I am in survival mode, where my frustration is through the roof, there are so many piles of laundry I can't remember which is clean & which is dirty, where nutrition is thrown out the window & I am not proud at the end of the day for how I interacted with my children. Please just throw out the idea of a "supermom" as you look at me & more importantly as you look at yourself.

In all of this, if we look to a goal of being "supermom" we are missing the point. God has given us certain callings as wives & mothers & desires that we find much joy in them. To mention a few (that I borrowed from a Piper sermon,) "God’s call on your life is marriage, the joyful support of a husband and his calling as you display what the relationship between Christ and the church looks like, and motherhood, the transmission of a God-centered, Christ-treasuring vision of life to your children, and home-management, the creation of a beautiful and simple place and a living organism called a home which becomes, not only for the family, but also for the community a refuge of Christ’s peace and launching pad for God’s righteousness." 

I love the beautiful sound of those words together. It helps me take a deep breath & leaves me feeling refreshed as I consider the overall calling to be a wife to Rob, a mother to those in our nest  & caretaker of our home that is a place of refuge for others & "launching pad" as he says. Instead of chasing after being a super mom, we should be chasing after the God who made us & gave His son for us. We should find contentment in what He has given us to do at any point in time. We should see how ugly our sin is & how beautiful the sacrifice of Jesus is. We should find our encouragement in what God says about us instead of what others say about us believing that if God if for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31). We should believe the truth in His word instead of the lies of the world. We should pray for selfishness to leave & selflessness to stay. We should plead with God that He would help us treasure Him above all things & pass that on to our children.  These things have value as opposed to planning a perfect birthday celebration for a two year old that in turn makes you feel like a failure when it doesn't pan out. Failing or feeling like a failure is the perfect opportunity to cling to God, to show our children we are weak & He is strong & that we are nothing without Him. 

Dear Eloise, 

I learned a few things about myself & about this great God I teach you about on your second birthday. I set myself up for great frustration, had a rough day & was left feeling like a failure. It is my joy to share with you. I love being your mommy & pray that someday Lord willing, you will have the opportunity to be mommy to your own little nest.  I pray that your hope would be in Christ alone. I pray that your failures would lead you closer to God & that you would trust that He does all things for your good & His glory. I pray that you would find great delight in being made more Christ-like through trials in your lifetime.  You my child are a precious gift & I pray that I am around to see you grow from a toddler to a woman who loves God.  Happy second birthday. Maybe it was a really good one after all : ) 

Love, 

Mommy