Dirty Windows - 500th post

It has been 2 months since any blog activity here at the Nest...that's a first. While there have been many occasions I desire to document, the hold up has been that this post is NUMBER 500 & I want it to be significant, not just Arlo's adventures in potty training. I guess that was pretty significant but not what I had in mind!  I could probably list 500 reasons why I have not written this post yet but I'll spare you ; ) 

The following picture has been in my draft folder for over two years. It may seem strange but this dirty window brought about a significant moment in our home. The front door of the house we moved into when we returned to the homeland was clearly chosen by someone who did not have a dog & five sticky handed children which included one drooling baby. It was constantly filthy & seemed utterly pointless to clean.

One afternoon, the sun poured through the immense branches of the pecan trees that killed our grass & right into our entry way. Charlotte at 6 years old walked by & said nonchalantly "Mom, the sun makes our windows so dirty!" I laughed out loud as I realized that she noticed the filth too. While it was silly, it ended up being a moment where God provided just the response she & I both needed.

I replied "Do you know what Charlotte? The light doesn't make our windows dirty, the light exposes how dirty they actually are."

Ephesians 5:13 says "When anything is exposed by the light it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light" 

The filth on those windows is my sin & Jesus himself says in John 8:12 that HE is the light of the world. In his love, "God has shone his light into our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ." 2 Corinthians 4:6

Sin is exposed but in confessing it to him, "he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9. 

Through the death & resurrection of Jesus, he has conquered sin & death. As a follower of Christ I know that when God looks at me, he doesn't see all the filthiness, instead he looks upon his Son who in love, paid the price for my sins. What a marvelous thing to celebrate.

The problem is, I still see all the dirtiness. I am well aware of my short comings & fall into the trap of feeling guilty & wondering "How can God love me?" I work so hard (sometimes) to keep the windows clean but it never fails, they get dirty again. In the same way, I am disappointed with myself for the snippy responses to my children, my desire for other things over time reading my bible, my struggle to be content in all aspects of the current stage of life. The list goes on & on....that could be another list of 500 things ; ) 

Specifically speaking of lack of Windex & paper towels applied routinely to windows in our home, I always think that when we move, I will keep my windows cleaner. Guess what? THEY LOOK THE SAME, HAHA!  Right now on our back door is mud from happy trench digging hands & Bella's 13 year old snout, splashes from when Arlo is "helping" me clean with a rag he dipped in that dirty snouted dog's water bowl, some snot & plenty of other gross-ness. But on one of the top panes is a cross drawn by one of the girls (by spit on their finger of course). They said "Mom, isn't that great to see?" Yes, it is. That cross covers every bit of my sin.

The windows of my home look dirty to me but to God, the "windows" of my heart look spotless, without blemish due to the sacrifice of his son. The best part is that I didn't have to clean them AND I don't have to keep working to keep them clean! Tomorrow, Resurrection Day is cause for great celebration & praise to our Heavenly Father. There is much to be thankful for. 

In closing, I want to share the lyrics to a song by Ellie Holcomb. She sings to me via my Bluetooth speaker while I clean the kitchen, fold laundry or collapse on the couch for a 5 minute, life -saving snooze when I can't make it through our read aloud time.

What a great reminder.

Marvelous Light

I am not who I once was, defined by all the things I’ve done
Afraid my shame would be exposed, afraid of really being known
But then you gave my heart a home

So I walked out of the darkness and into the light
From fear of shame into the hope of life
Mercy called my name and made a way to fly
Out of the darkness and into the light

Years of keeping secrets safe, wondering if I could change
‘Cause when you’re hiding all alone, your heart can turn into a stone
And that’s not the way I want to go

So I walked out of the darkness and into the light
From fear of shame into the hope of life
Mercy called my name and made a way to fly
Out of the darkness and into the light

There’s no place I’d rather be
Your light is marvelous, your light is marvelous
You have come to set us free
You are marvelous, your light is marvelous to me

So I walked out of the darkness and into the light
From fear of shame into the hope of life
Mercy called my name and made a way to fly
Out of the darkness and into the light