In some ways it feels like I blinked & here I sit with a giant belly full of two baby boys. In other ways, it has felt like time has moved so very slow as we have waited for results or follow up appointments to recheck something that didn't look right. Time continues to move along though, just as it always has.... & there is nothing we can do to stop it. Tomorrow is the big day where our family will double in the amount of little ones & our hearts will be bursting with joy. This post is just words, no photos : )
Today has been interesting so far & it's not even time for lunch yet. We went by the hospital this morning for me to do my pre-admission testing, signing consents etc. SO many people have been asking me if I am nervous. As I write that, I am wondering who means about surgery & who means about caring for 4 children under the age of 4. My answer at this moment to both is yes & no : ) Surgery related, I am more nervous about how hungry (& mean) I will be when not eating for 8 hours before my hospital admission ; ) Honestly though, I think I would be much more nervous anticipating the labor & delivery of multiples. The decision was made long ago to commit to a cesarean due to Owen having much less of the placenta than Anson does. He would likely not tolerate labor very well with less access to oxygen. I have definitely witnessed my fair share of emergency cesareans along with a vaginal delivery of baby A followed by an emergency cesarean of baby B. I would like no part in either scenario & we feel very confident in our decision to pursue this route of exit for the boys.
4 under 4 related, I do feel a little nervous but the excitement that the boys are going to be in our arms in less than 24 hours completely overrides any nervousness at this point. Knowing that my mom will be here for about four weeks once the boys are home eases my nervousness about my quickly growing responsibilities. More on that once I am a mother of 4 all outside the womb ; )
We decided to go to Keke's Breakfast Cafe this morning after my appointment to enjoy one last date. It was lovely in many ways. When we were walking to our table there was a middle aged man sitting alone that couldn't help but stare & said "Wow, are you going to make it through breakfast?" I said I was hoping to make it tomorrow. He said "that is quite the belly!" I qualified his assessment by responding with "well, there are two babies in there." He said "Oh bless you sweet woman for carrying those babies, best of luck to you." It was a common interaction I would say here towards the end of a twin pregnancy but what was uncommon was when we asked for our ticket, the waitress said "It was paid for. Remember that man that you spoke with when you walked in? He paid for it." Wow! What a sweet gift today. That has never happened to us before & was quite humbling.
Breakfast was lovely for two other reasons. For the past two weeks I had clearance from the MFM specialist to eat a little more carbohydrates in my diet on occasion since my blood sugars were well under control. I really had only taken him up on the offer a couple times & then really took him up on it this morning when I ordered a big Belgian waffle (easy on the syrup) along with my usual bacon & eggs. It was AMAZING and I can't wait to feel more free to eat things like that when I desire!
The main reason why it was a lovely breakfast was because I was sitting across from this man who I have loved for 10 years this month. I was staring at him thinking about our early dating & marriage. onto moving, starting jobs, making our little nest in Dallas then uprooting & making a new nest in Orlando. I thought about the beginning of desiring to add some little Valentines to our nest followed by the struggle of waiting.
I thought about the joy we have experienced in welcoming & raising Charlotte & Eloise thus far. I thought about the appointment where we were told that there are two babies growing in my womb & remember EXACTLY how we looked at each other & how we felt as we just wanted to scream out with excitement. I thought about the many ups & downs of this pregnancy & how the Lord has been so very faithful through every hiccup along the way. He has been faithful to draw near to us, to sustain & deepen our marriage, to form & fashion these precious boys in my womb exactly how he desired & to keep their little hearts beating & their bodies growing all the way.
As my mind was racing through all of that, my eyes were filled with tears as we talked about welcoming the boys tomorrow. It is a combination of complete thankfulness & extreme joy with lots in between. I said at one point I feel sad thinking about Eloise. I don't know if it is the possibility that this is the completion of the Valentine Nest & we will never have a baby girl again or if it is that she seems too little to be a big sister. These concerns are completely blown away when I remind myself that God is the one who chose the time to open my womb & who will guide us in tending to Eloise's little heart as she steps into this next phase in her life. I am reminded of that moment where Charlotte first met Eloise & was completely enamored. It will always be a most treasured moment in my mind & I am sure seeing the two big sisters come face to face with the baby brothers will be absolutely incredible as well.
So, I started this email this morning & now I have finished a Mexican Feast for dinner. It has been a rest filled day. My Dad got into town this morning so my parents put Eloise down for a nap then took Charlotte on a date. I fell into a deep sleep on the couch then woke up to repack a bag & enjoy some quiet time to myself. This afternoon I took my "pregnant in a bikini" picture which I have with each of the girls around 36 weeks. I look a bit different this time around ; ) I told Rob that I felt silly taking it in the backyard & that I should go to a pool but he assured me that the backyard was a safe place to stay with my giant bare belly haha! Dinner was delicious & now I am onto finishing up a couple things on the planning end for the girls this weekend. Last snackie at 10pm then off to attempting to sleep before the big day!
The next update should have pictures of two little bitty buckaroos!
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