Saying Goodbye to Ol' Bennett

I can hardly believe I am writing this post as I thought we were still at least a few years away from saying goodbye to one of our four legged members of the family.  Bennett The Brave as we called him was put to sleep yesterday morning. It was heart breaking & sweet all at the same time.  I want to share all about our beloved Benny Boy but will recount the weeks events leading up to yesterday. Warning, this is another long post with lots of pictures, memories & details about saying goodbye. 

It all started last Thursday morning. Bennett & Bella were snoozing in the office throughout the morning since Rob was out of town.  When I went to get them out, I noticed a Charlotte sized sock that had been returned to me in a pile of vomit (not unusual in any way).  I got him outside, cleaned up the mess & went on with the day.  Bennett went on with his day as well & did not get sick again. I picked up my baby brother Scott & Eloise from the airport that evening.  Bennett was happy to eat his dinner that night & crashed in the office again.  When we awoke the next morning & went to get him out of the office we found lots of vomit. I can handle all kid poop/vomit but the dogs just do me in. Scott was AMAZING & did all the clean up which included a full steam clean of the carpet once everything was scrubbed out.  Rob got home shortly after the massive clean up. Bennett seemed fairly normal but little did we know, his dinner he threw up was the last meal he would eat : ( He seemed more lethargic as the day went on & by the evening, was not interested in food but would drink water if you carried it to him. He took a 36 hour hiatus from vomiting & then started up again on Sunday when we arrived home from church.  We were pretty concerned at this point so Rob & I took him to the emergency vet.  Scott (once again) was more than willing to care for the girls as long as needed & even had a gourmet dinner ready for us when we returned home. 

Our visit to the vet included a long list of ALL the things they recommended doing totaling a pretty large sum of money. We decided to go for an x-ray first.  The vet was back in quickly & said "I haven't really seen much that looks this strange, why don't you come take a look." What every dog owner wants to hear right? Basically, his intestines were all pushed up to the top of his chest cavity & it looked like he had a mass growing outside of his colon.  She said there was a slight chance that what looked like a "mass" could actually be a foreign object that may eventually pass but it was unlikely.  We had them give Bennett a fluid bolus and some anti-nausea medication (an injection & pills for the following day) before heading home. These worked very well for him & stopped the vomiting. We were hopeful that he would start eating again but instead his disinterest in water began. For the next 3-4 days, he would only drink if we splashed his nose, dabbed it inside his cheeks or shot it down with a syringe (which we did multiple times). Our goal was to get through Christmas & the following day which was full of doctor appointments for me & take him to a regular vet Thursday.  

I will pick up with the conclusion after I share a bit about this dog who won our hearts the day he arrived in our home....

First week in the little Valentine Nest that started in our apartment in Lubbock, Texas

We married in December 2004. We knew we could hardly wait to get a dog of our own so the search began in late March.  We were both in college at Texas Tech & there was not much to choose from in the Blue American Pitbull Terrier category so we had the Valentine's send us a copy of a Dallas area paper.  In no time at all (like I think we talked to her in the evening & Rob left before sunrise the next morning) we found the breeder we were dreaming of that had a litter of 4 that had been born on St. Patrick's Day. I mentioned in a post all about Bennett the Brave a couple years ago that Robby chose the least obnoxious dog of the litter, our little Benners.  Little did we know he was on his best behavior because he ended up being quite the needy dog! One more thing to love about him in the end though : )  You can read about how we ended up with another puppy from the same litter in less than 24 hours here.  We loved it & were one happy little family under one roof for about 2 months. Robby graduated a few months before me & took a job in Dallas. I was still in nursing school & planned to travel to Dallas each weekend so the decision was made that Rob would take our new bundles of joy to his parents house where he would be staying for a couple months until I graduated.  This meant his mama was on doggie duty or shall I say "dooty"  while he worked his 40 hours a week.  We can't thank Bob & Jeannine enough for letting us take over the yard & house for that matter ; ) The picture on the left is in our apartment & the one on the right is once he was getting settled in at his summer home. 

They almost look like Siamese dogs in this one...haha! They spent a LOT of time snuggling in their early years but liked their own space more & more as the years went on.  

We moved into our first house in Richardson, Texas in August 2005.  The pups were almost 6 months old & were well into their routine of lots of snuggling....especially Bennett....

He loved the new house, if he was inside, he laid on the tile floor staring through a glass door watching the squirrels run about.  If outside, he spent time racing & chasing with his sister in our backyard but if you left him alone too long, he would stare into the window waiting for rescue...

Does anyone brush their dogs teeth? We did for awhile....he was never a big fan ; ) 

Looking through pictures was really therapeutic for me.  I laughed hard as I was reminded of how Bennett really thought he was the size of a Chihuahua. He was always laying on top of us or sitting in our laps, even at  the ripe old age of 7 weighing over 80 pounds!

He was basically the one with the craziest faces for family photos.....

But figured out how to be cool, calm & collected by year number two....

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I loved this dog & he loved my attention....he was always ready to put his paws on my shoulders for a welcome home kiss after work...

Onto a couple funny stories/details about Bennett & what he did to drive us crazy or make us laugh...

Pictured above is Jack the cow dog as we lovingly refer to him, Garrett, Bella & Bennett.  In December of 2007, we had the opportunity to take in a dear friend of mine named Elizabeth that was struggling through some major difficulties in her life. In God's perfect providence, Elizabeth didn't come alone. We welcomed her daughter Makayla (7 years old), Garrett (4 years old), Jack the cow dog & 2 hermit crabs that managed to escape on more than one occasion. Sounds like a full house right? It gets better....Jenny, our sister in law to be was already living with us & Rob was working from home full time. Haha! It was a tight squeeze & a most cherished time in our life.  We had 3 months together & experienced some hilarious moments among the struggles of this sweet family.

Here are a few of the hilarious ones involving this dog Bennett:

1. Bennett & Jack the cow dog had a difficult time figuring out who was going to be in charge so we decided to keep them separated right off the bat.  Each dog was kenneled separately.  Jenny was not privy to this decision since she was out later that evening. Rob & I were lying in bed early the following morning & heard Jenny turn off the alarm as she went to let the dogs out. She did this every morning with B & B so they could snuggle with her while she drank her coffee & read her bible. Robby & I sprang out of bed as we heard the third cage opening saying in unison "no, no, no, no, no!"  We were too late.  We had windows between the living area & the hallway we were coming from & saw Jenny yelling as the three dogs ran in circles around her barking.  Rob rescued her.  He & I found it pretty darn funny from the beginning but Jenny did not ; ) I would venture to say she laughs about it now. 
2. Bennett ate Makayla's baby doll she got for Christmas....like destroyed it enough to make us slightly nervous to have our own children.
3. We thought Bennett was going to die at one point during their stay at our house when he had a crazy amount of bloody diarrhea.  Jack the cow dog had finally gotten kicked outside even though it was freezing. We set up some blankets right under the vent from the dryer & would run it again anytime we were up since we felt so sorry for him.  I slept on the couch so I could hear Bennett in his kennel since he was going to the bathroom every hour.  At one point I opened up the door to his kennel & (sorry if this grosses you out) he covered a good 3ft by 3ft area in about 2 seconds. I ran to the back door to rush him outside & what do you know, there was a little cow dog who was dying to come in. He ran full speed & attempted to stop when he hit the "dead zone" & managed to slip & slide right through the mess dragging it all the way across the room. SICK-O! Those two just about did me in!

One thing that Bennett did his entire life that drove me up the wall was that he would find anything that was freshly dried whether on the couch, bed or in a basket & make a little bed for himself rubbing his hair all over it.  Later in his life he loved having two little girls around that would bring their blankies out to the couch to cover him up for his all day lounge fest.  Here he is all snuggled up on some fresh towels...

One his first family camp out with us, Steve & Jenny, we found that he would rather sleep with the top half of his body on the bench rather than lay in the dirt...sissy boy ; ) We also found that he could swim like a dolphin in the lake. Oh my, he would tear you to shreds if you were near those claws!

I cannot count the amount of hours I have spent snuggling or napping with this dog. I called him my snuggle-buddy from early on.  It is sad to see him go now knowing he would have been the only one who truly appreciated official bed rest (if it comes to that ) in this pregnancy.  He would watch for me to start getting my spot ready & would be practically on top of me before I could even get situated. Drove me crazy but once we got settled, he & I could sleep for hours!

Bennett's absolute favorite food was watermelon.  he could take it down to the rind faster than I have ever seen. We could have won some serious money if we entered him in a competition ; ) 

Here he is once again sitting on a lap.  Rob said following our morning of saying goodbye that when they brought an extra chair into our room he had flashbacks of a previous visit to a vet office. He entered a room where there were people & other pets. He sat down on a bench & Bennett proceeded to climb into his lap where he sat until their name was called.  I know he would have loved if Benny would have climbed up one last time as uncomfortable as it is to have that large puppy in your lap ; )

He loved to jump high & chase tennis balls but would quit after a few throws deciding that he would rather lay in the sun & demolish the ball instead of waste his energy.

Thankfully, Bennett gladly welcomed real children into our home as opposed to strange smelling baby dolls.  This was the second day we were home with baby Charlotte.  They were so interested & so calm....

Robby always joked that Bennett was so gentle he could take communion from the Pope. He would pretty much make out with your hand instead of attempt to take a finger off like Bella ; ) Here he is taking a treat from Char when she was just a couple months old.

It didn't take long for Bennett to decide that babies were the best things around! He loved having someone to lick that could not defend themselves!

Char & Benners were quite the pair. They spent a LOT of time together, sometimes making silly faces at me through the back screen. 

The pups gladly welcomed baby #2 & decided to pose for our favorite of all family pictures on the 4th of July.  Big thanks to both of my brothers for yelling things like "squirrel" & snapping at the perfect moment.

Benny Boy took to Eloise as quickly as he did to Charlotte.....

And Elo gave him plenty of affection in return.

Bennett the chihuahua not only put all his weight on us on a regular basis, he also thought Charlotte might enjoy the feeling of being crushed from time to time....you can barely see her head & then her little feet peeking out from under him!

As he got older, he was much more tolerant of their requests. I came into the room one afternoon just a couple months ago to see a row of 9 pennies up the middle of his back as he laid as still as a statue! He did move before I could get a picture of all of them but oh my, was Charlotte excited or what?

We had a little mini birthday celebration when they turned 7 last March & ended up with one of my FAVORITE pictures of Char & Bennett.  She kept dipping her face in icing & then letting him lick it off. Sweet moment.

Bennett & Bella really enjoyed each other over the years although we think it was better for things to go in this order rather than the opposite.  Bennett would have been devastated without his sister but Bella is quite alright without someone to overshadow her.  It is SO sad to think about them not having each other but we are hopeful that Bella will enjoy her last years as a only dog getting a bit more attention.  We used to joke that Bella would glare at Bennett as he chased his tail & barked obnoxiously & say to herself "really, out of the litter, how on earth did I end up with you?" We also watched Bella dig a fairly decent sized hole in our backyard in Richardson.  We decided that it was a hole for Bennett & that eventually she would cover it with leaves, trick him into falling in & bury him alive ; ) Thankfully these two lived their days under the same roof getting along 99% of the time & still licking each others faces until just a week ago.  They have aged over nearly 8 years but were/are still some good lookin' pups!

So, the story picks back up on Christmas Day. We had already had some tense & sad discussions & come to the conclusion that if he did not make a big turn around on his own that we would not be planning to pay for expensive interventions.  We were preparing to say goodbye but of course hoped he would start eating & drinking on his own again. Bennett stopped vomiting after his injection on Sunday so we let him back in the carpeted areas of the house.  He spent some time snuggled with Charlotte in their usual spots. Heartbreaking really but we were thankful to see him resting well with one of his favorite girlies. 

Rob & I have been on the verge of tears at any given moment for pretty much the last quarter of the year due to the ups & downs of this pregnancy.  It did not take much for the tears to come out watching Bennett's health decline. We were very thankful that Scott was keenly aware of how were were handling things & provided quick distractions for the girls so we could sneak off & spend a moment with Bennett.  Rob & I ended up on the floor of our bathroom with Bennett on Christmas afternoon.  We had a sweet moment with the three of us & then Rob left me & Benny alone.  I brought my pillow in & laid down on my side.  He immediately rested his head on my belly which is a favorite spot for him when I am pregnant. I pretty much sobbed uncontrollably as I told Bennett what a good dog he had been even though he had eaten thousands of socks, headbands, hair bows & silly bandz.  I calmed down & just stroked his back while he rested.  Owen & Anson were kicking against the weight of his head which is probably more than triple of the boys combined ; ) This may sound weird but it was special knowing that if anything, this dog was close to them physically for a moment even though they will never know him.  That time on the floor was just what I needed to accept the fact that we were going to be saying farewell soon. The following day, Robby & I had to be gone for about 6-7 hours with the way my appointments were spread out. Bennett seemed stable enough & we were just praying that he would make it another 24 hours to our scheduled appointment at the vet.   God provided again in having our friend Ileana & her roomie Krista split the day to care for the girls & a sick puppy dog.  They offered him water & took him out.  What a blessing to not have to be concerned & be able to focus on what was going on with the twins. 

That night, we put the girls to bed, snuggled with the dogs, had a little cry & then went to bed. I did tell Bennett that I didn't even care that he dug irreparable holes in my couch. Just wanted to make sure he didn't feel guilty about that ; )   Bennett had been sleeping on the floor in our bathroom for the past few nights but pretty much demanded as well as he could to sleep on the floor at the end of our bed. We moved his blankets out to his requested spot & he settled in for the night. Within minutes he was snoring a bit & it reminded me of his first weeks at our house.  This dog has been known to snore through an entire Life Group meeting at our house, prayer time and all. Ha! It was a sweet sound to attempt to fall asleep too. I don't think any of us slept very well & I was up around 5:45 snuggling with him on the couch. 

We ended up changing our appointment to the morning because he just seemed like he was feeling pretty awful.  The girls gave him some hugs & kisses unaware of what was about to take place.  Chris came over play with them so they were really excited. It made it a million times easier to leave.  I did pretty well emotionally at the appointment until I said the phrase "this is our first time around with losing a pet." That did it, the tears started coming.  The wonderful vet reviewed the documents & x-ray from a few days prior & returned to our room in a very solemn mood. She did his exam & said that according to the x-ray & to feeling his abdomen that it definitely felt like a mass with quite a bit of fluid gathering around it.  It had displaced all of his intestines & was making him so uncomfortable he couldn't eat or drink.  She of course offered the treatment plan if we chose to pursue it but confirmed it was no guarantee to have him alive at the end & it would be a long recovery from how sick he was. She recommended having him put to sleep.  It made it heaps easier to make that decision after hearing an educated veterinary doctor confirm how sick he was. So we said okay, signed the papers & then got on with the process. 

He received his sedative & snuggled up on a blanket next to us on the floor.  Within about 5-10 minutes he was nearly unconscious. I pulled his head onto my lap & he pushed his snout against my belly.  Owen waited a minute or two & then started pushing back. That little guy is getting feisty ; ) We were just petting him telling him he was a good boy & that he could rest.  The doctor came back in to see if we were ready & we said we were so she gave him the injection to stop his heart.  It was only about 30 seconds before it was all over.  It was very peaceful.  Overall, it was sadder & sweeter than we thought possible.  As soon as the doctor walked out of the room, Robby looked at me & said "it was so good to experience this start to finish." Puppy hood to saying goodbye.  Just three days prior I was swearing I would never get a dog again but as we reflected on all the life experienced with him along side us, just as a pet, the sorrow seemed totally worth it.  

It was hard to walk out of there & leave him. We talked about getting his ashes & spreading them over the place where we go squirrel hunting but then we remembered how Bennett really preferred to be an inside dog avoiding laying in dirt or getting his paws wet at all costs.  We had a good laugh about how that would be so mean to do that ; ) 

As we are learning week after week in this season of life that struggle, pain & hurt is not bad even if it feels bad in the moment.  The Lord is using it in so many ways to refine us.  We see his mercy to us even in saying goodbye to a dog we loved dearly in the middle of such a crazy time.  It was unexpected but we are thankful that it was quick & there was not much suffering on his part.  We are thankful for these little girls in our home & the boys in my womb to keep our perspective clear on what our priorities are.  It was definitely awful to answer the questions of a curious 3 year old who could only somewhat grasp the fact that dying meant we couldn't play with him anymore.  She is talking about it a lot but then gets to playing & forgets. When she remembers she gets sad & says "we need to get Bennett right now!" That makes us sad but here we are at the beginning of walking through life teaching children through our challenges. God's grace to us as well to give us an opportunity to share with her on a basic level why there is pain & hurt but someday there will be no more as we spend an eternity with the God who created us.

We loved this sweet, sweet boy so very much & will miss him dearly. We have had some good laughs remembering all the trouble he caused & his ridiculous antics. We will miss much about him & enjoy telling the girls for years to come how they took such good care of him even in his last week of life. Sleeping soundly on the couch is where he preferred to spend much of his time really for the past couple years.  Always ready for a snuggle, that was our boy : )